HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER SENTENCE MEME [PART I]

leajewchele:

• “My friend just got dumped, so tonight all men are “the Enemy”.”
• “Son, a piece of advice, never use the words “smurf penis” on a first date.”
• “I think I’m in love with you.”
• “At every New York party there is always a girl who has no idea whose party she’s at.”
• “Kinda don’t wanna wear my shirt any more. Or my underwear. Oh, that’s right, I’m not wearing any.”
• “We’re having a party next Friday if you’d like to swing by.”
• “Like, let’s fall in love, and get married, and have kids, and drive them to soccer practice.”
• “Because you’re my best friend, all right? You don’t have to tell me I’m yours. But the way I see it, we’re a team. Without you, I’m just the dynamic uno.”
• “My friend does this thing where he goes to the airport and leaves fake luggage in order to meet women.”
• “Look, our forefathers died for the “pursuit of happiness,” okay? Not for the “sit around and wait of happiness.” 
• “Guys are like the subway. You miss one, another comes along in five minutes.”
• “Desperate please-don’t-leave-me sex is amazing.”
• “There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.”
• “Wow. Who knew being in a committed heterosexual relationship could make a guy so gay.”
• “You dumped a porn star?”
• “Everyone thinks they’re a good kisser.”
• “I’m done being single, I’m not good at it.”
• “So you chickened out like a little bitch?”
• “See that girl? I’m gonna marry her someday.”
• “I’m crazy about you. I think we should be together. What do you say?”
• “Come on. I know it didn’t work out between us, but we did have a relationship.”
• “Hit me? Please! This guy can barely spank me in bed for fun.”
• “You are forcing me to be the voice of reason. And that’s not a good look for me!”
• “You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.”
• “We always said we’d be there for the big moments.”
• “Settling down is for losers and kids who never go out anymore.”
• “Just be cool, Lady. Damn.”
• “I don’t want to see you for a while.”
• “Love is the best thing we do.”
• “It doesn’t have to make sense to make sense.”
• “I refuse to be a part of a third runaway bride situation.”
• “When you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.”
• “The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies and partners in crime you love so much when you’re young, as the years go by, you just lose touch.”
• “You’re gonna get your dream because you’re giving me mine.”
• “It’s kind of insane how much happened in just a day and a half.”
• “No I’m not okay, because apparently I’m marrying my dad in a few hours.”
• “When what’s really happening is too intense to deal with, sometimes it’s best to leave it unspoken and just enjoy each others company instead.”
• “Before you know it, just like magic, you realize, it’s a perfect fit.”
• “Whatever you do in this life, it’s not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.”
• “If you keep acting this way, little by little, you’re gonna lose me.”
• “I’m not going to win again. Not like that anyway.”
• “For a long time, deep down I felt sort of, broken.”
• “Screw tomorrow, lets go big tonight.”
• “You’re my best friend, I just need your support.”
• “Kids, they don’t understand logic, kids understand who shows up. That’s why her dad’s her hero and I get hung up on.”
• “Do you want to keep playing or do you want to win?”
• “Yes I’m in a rotten mood. No I don’t want to talk about it. Yes this has booze in it. No it’s not my first.”
• “He’s gotten really respectful with his fake listening.”
• “Why say goodbye to the good things?”
• “When you believe in people, people come through.”